Dating in Germany: 10 Tips for Expats

For me as a German it is not easy to write about Dating in Germany. There are so many stereotypes about Germans which are partly right but also wrong. An Australian woman’s response to the query, “How do you know a German is flirting with you?” was: “sounds to me like the beginning of a joke”. This should be taken into account when conversing with Germans one has an interest in.

Most German men are supposedly shy and not good at flirting like French or Italian men who are flirtier and more open-minded. But I guess that has changed in the last years. They are more and more willing to make the first move, but also like it if women take control and take the first step. Different than in many other countries, the Germans hardly ever go to a person they don’t know in a bar or club. The pressure they face makes them anxious and the fear of being rejected is always present. They prefer meeting through common friends as if it was by accident.

What should I talk about?

In the early stages, forming a strong connection with Germans can be difficult. However, once they like you, they are faithful and either you become a close friend, or you can rely on a real relationship. The reason is that Germans are not into small talk but prefer a serious, deeper conversation. That might be one of the biggest problems for foreigners in Germany: We are not the greatest when it comes to showing our interest in a person.

Besides these tips I believe it often depends on the situation whether Germans are willing to do the things necessary to get a date. For those who want to know what different nations think about Dating in Germany, I can recommend YouTube, where you can find several videos about this topic!

You can find more English-speaking services in Germany here.